Southerner Xtra — Trending with Nancy Mbaegbu
Sunday, July 27, 2025

Aprokonation, person waka enter family meeting, but na grave dem give am as takeaway. Una don see this kind of abracadabra before. Even the best Nollywood script writer needs to learn and see if dey fit beat wetin happen to one man.

On January 19, 2022, Barrister Godwin Ikoiwak, sharp prosecutor with bright future for Akwa Ibom Ministry of Justice entered his car to visit his in-laws for a peace talk. But instead of returning home, he vanished like airtime wey touch bonus subscription. That was the last time anybody saw him alive.

The wahala started when Godwin begin suspect say him lawyer-wife, Madam Abasieseabanga dey play away match. Bros begin do FBI work and what he found nearly reset his brain. Him find out say wifey allegedly dey entangled in holy unholiness with her former oga.

But the real gbosa na when Godwin discover say his darling wife was once living with Reverend Father Maurice Mbeke as a teen and allegedly got pregnant for the man of God. And that dem born pikin wey dem name after the priest’s grandfather.

Same pikin Godwin dey raise for house, thinking na small brother-in-law. Meanwhile na his wife’s lovechild with Father Confessor. Can you imagine?!

According to a friend, Godwin tell am say every time his wife get belle, she go leave the house for 9 months, only to come back with a newborn baby. When he asked why, she tell am say for their family, any man who sees his pregnant wife dies. He believed her at first.

But everything changed when he found out about her alleged past affair. He began dey doubt the paternity of their two children and all the things she don ever tell am. He demanded for DNA test, still carry the matter to his in-laws. Dem call peace meeting for Ikono. Baba finish court duty, enter car go settle matter. That was the last ride of his life.

Hours later, the wife calls his people: “Your son had asthma, drove himself to the hospital and died.” Just like that o. They bury am sharp-sharp by February. Even produce death certificate join. But Godwin’s people no chop that story. Something no add up. Investigations begin fly like mosquito for rainy season, DSS join, police join. Dem exhume the man and what they found no allow dem fit breathe well.

Autopsy later showed cuts, bruises, tied wrists, and poison (Otapiapia). Not one drop of asthma. Guy was beaten, tied, and fed poison unto death like a sacrificial goat.

Meanwhile, wife dey Calabar making calls with her mama, sister, and that same Reverend Father same day Godwin kpai. E no shock una?

Turns out, Father Mbeke contracted one Father Gabriel Ekong, wey be hospital admin for St. Luke’s hospital, make dem arrange death certificate. Then Father Ekong instruct Doctor Imoh make him write say na asthma kill the man. Dem package dead body go dump the corpse for hospital like say na there Godwin kpai. Cold blooded heartless people.

But judgment finally land last month and everybody bin expect hot punishment wey go match the crime. E shock everyone wey things turned upside down like say na expired cold zobo dem serve. Judge begin talk say na first-time offence, say children dey involved, even age enter the excuse.

Godwin’s wife collect just two years as accessory to crime. Her mama and sister get 10 years each because na dem do the main dirty work. Doctor wey help to forge the story collect two years, and Father Ekong wey arrange the fake death paper land four years.

As for Father Mbeke? The man waka free like breeze. Till today, the Father still dey sip communion and bless people with hand wey allegedly plan person burial.

The judgment weak everybody, but Akwa Ibom State no gree. Dem don file appeal and people dey pray make the new judgment put better pepper for everybody eyes. Because this kain betrayal na the kind wey go make village gods resign from work.

Upper chamber pastor impregnates three daughters

Na who do us for this country? Just when you think nothing fit shock you again, Nigeria go serve you fresh madness wey go make your ear ring bell. This latest one land from Port Harcourt and e heavy like bag of cement.

One so-called pastor don confess say he impregnated his three daughters. Yes o. All three! and according to him, na for ritual purposes.

In the now-viral video wey dey fly for every corner of the internet, the man open mouth like basket and confess say na him mama initiate am into witchcraft. As per spiritual family inheritance.

She allegedly tell am say if he wan get full power, make him use his daughters. Like say dem be battery for native altar. Imagine o!

Now hold your chair. Na the pastor son expose am. The boy, probably tired of the evil for house, report him papa to police. As dem carry the man go station, na there him pour everything for ground like basin wey dey leak.

Pastor talk say yes, him do am. Yes, all three daughters. Yes, for ritual. And no, him no see anything wrong with wetin him do. The man just dey talk like person wey forget conscience for church altar.

But the part wey pain people pass na the wife take the matter. The wife allegedly say she sabi wetin her husband dey do. As in, she hear, she see, but love tie her tongue like wrapper wey breeze no fit blow open. Imagine say your own daughters dey suffer and you dey do “I stand by my man” like say dem go give you award for being a dummy.

Online streets don catch fire. X (formerly Twitter) users dey drag pastor spiritual wig with full chest. One user said “The wife knew a long time ago but kept quiet. I’m speechless. Some say na fear, some say na blind love”. Me I say na wickedness with microphone.

Another person shout say, “These pastors dey scare me more than demons.” The way some people carry Bible and still dey do things wey even village shrine go reject? Omo!

As for the so-called Upper Chamber, dem fit as well turn the signboard upside down. Because nothing holy dey that building again. We just hope the law go carry the matter reach the end and the girls get the healing dem truly deserve.

CEO Andy Byron’s display of affection gone wrong

E no get wetin person no go see for front row seat at Coldplay concert o. This gist happened in Boston, USA. While some fans went to sing “Yellow” and catch cruise, CEO Andy Byron of Astronomer went to scatter his own career with one public romantic entanglement wey nobody send am. As in, real-life soap opera unfold for stadium in front of the camera.

So here’s how e go down: Coldplay dey perform, crowd dey groove, then kiss cam start to waka. Na so the camera land on Andy Byron and his Chief People Officer, Kristin Cabot.

Two of them freeze like say NEPA just take light. Crowd begin shout “awww,” thinking they’re shy lovers. Chris Martin, Coldplay’s lead singer, no help matters. Him say, “Either they’re having an affair or they’re just very shy.” Omo! Mic drop!

Internet no waste time. TikTok and X (formerly Twitter) begin buzz like hawkers for Onitsha traffic. People shout say “this is not shyness o, this is married people doing forbidden cuddle in public.” Because guess what? Andy is married, and Kristin dey come from complicated waka.

Next thing, board of directors activate panic mode. Press release drop “We are investigating.” HR people begin form innocent like dem no dey kiss who dey conduct performance reviews.

But wait, gist never end. Andy Byron, our reluctant lead actor, come release statement. Him talk say “the moment has been taken out of context and does not represent the values I stand for.” Baba abeg rest. Context? You and HR manager dey stadium, una nearly smooch, camera catch am, and we should blame editing?

Meanwhile, ex-staff don carry personal vendetta enter group chat. One ex-employee talk say Byron na toxic boss wey dey lead with fear and intimidation. Say dem dey sip tea with joy as the kiss cam expose am like JAMB result wey no favour person. Another one say, “Finally, karma came through with the spotlight!”

Now Astronomer don shut down comments on all their social media platforms. Even LinkedIn dey tense. Kristin Cabot wahala sef enter street as her old motivational post resurface: “I win trust with CEOs.” Madam, e be like you over-win am o!

As e be now, board investigation still dey go on. But Twitter tribunal don already reach verdict: guilty of PDA with HR inside Coldplay concert and first-degree embarrassment. If dem sack her, nobody go shock. If dem no sack her, wahala go still plenty.

Sleeping Prince finally logs out after 20-year nap

My dear, if dem ever tell you say person fit enter sleep wey pass 20 years without alarm clock, abeg believe, because Saudi Arabia just wake up to the news wey tear internet trousers.

Prince Al-Waleed bin Khalid bin Talal, aka The Sleeping Prince, finally logged out from this life after pressing snooze for two solid decades. No be spiritual attack o, na real-life coma since 2005!

The matter start when the prince, fine royal pikin with oil money in his veins, jam serious accident for London at age 15. Car do am dirty, brain knock, and before anybody fit shout “Allahu Akbar,” baba don enter coma like say na nap after heavy fufu. Since that day, na hospital bed become him throne, and drip turn to royal wine.

But make I tell una the real MVP of this story. His father. Prince Khalid bin Talal said, “I no dey pull any plug!” For 20 years, the man dey pray, hope, and post small small videos of the boy blinking or shaking finger like person wey wan collect change. Every movement, Papa and him people go shout, “He’s coming back!” Oga, na coma, no be Danfo bus!

The whole Middle East joined in the wake-up campaign. Hashtags start to fly, prayers full like Ramadan food and hope thick like Saudi shawarma.

Internet children begin call am “Sleeping Prince” like say na Disney character. We sef begin wonder, “This sleep no too long?” If to say na Nigeria, NEPA for don cut the boy light since 2010.

On July 19, 2025, the royal network blinked for the last time. Prince waka go meet ancestors without saying “bye-bye.” Just like that, 36 years old, 20 inside coma. People wey no sabi am begin cry online, typing “Gone too soon” like say dem follow am jam the accident.

But make we no lie, life no get guarantee o! One small cruise, one “let’s go out,” fit turn to 20 years inside sleep wey no dey end. Abeg, hold your life with two hands, avoid oversabi speed. May his soul rest in peace.