Pastors and scandals

By Oreva Godwin

In today’s discourse, we shall expose activities of some so-called men of God. I shall share my experiences with supposed men of God and how scandalous they were.

Please note that I’m not condemning the body of Christ. I’m not an atheist. I’m a strong believer, who holds on to her faith strongly. But I’m also a realist and I know how to balance between my belief and being a realist. I do not intend to present our religious leaders as being bad. I know there are sincere and disciplined men of God out there.

But it’s high time these so called men of God stopped making people look down on Christianity. Stop making people think Christianity is a joke. Stop making people backslide, not because Jesus failed them, but because religious leaders failed them. Here is my story.

A man of God was invited to my family church and my mom, being the type that was into hosting men of God at our home, brought this pastor to our home. I was still a teenager. But I never looked my age, because I developed pretty fast. He saw my two older sisters and said he wants to pray for them to marry right and pray to God to groom me for marriage. My mom accepted the prayer offer, and then travelled the next day.

The pastor chose a day I will come alone for prayers at his place. My two older sisters were to come together for their prayers on an earlier date. My older siblings went and came back and were gossiping about what transpired at the pastor’s place. But they never opened up to me directly.

I went to the pastor’s the next day, and to my surprise, his wife was not around. He had a boxer and singlet on. I was instantly uncomfortable. In my head, I asked: “what’s going on?” I felt, as a man of God expecting a visitor, he ought to have been properly dressed.

But throughout the prayers in the living room, I was uncomfortable and alert. Suddenly I noticed the pastor’s manhood dangling in the boxer each time he moved while praying. The session became irritating for me.

After the first prayer session, he said I should come back the next day, I got home and told my older sisters that I would be returning to the pastor’s the next day, and they said it was okay. But as I set out to go the next day, I was uncomfortable. I told myself: “that man is not a true man of God. I shouldn’t go to his place”.

After waiting for me for a while, he called and called, and I refused to pick his calls. My older siblings asked why I was still home and then I opened up to them and shared my experience.

My sisters were in shock, and shared their own experiences. They said that the man told them to touch their breasts. Not the top of their clothes, but put their hands inside their clothes and hold the full breasts, claiming that it was a point of contact. He also asked them to say that their breasts would be only for their husbands. They said it was a struggle not to expose their breasts, while praying.

The next thing the pastor asked them to do was to touch their private parts, and pray that their husbands would enjoy their private parts. Again, he insisted that they must touch their private parts directly. They looked at each other and obeyed reluctantly, struggled to unzip their trousers and touched their private parts, in a way that won’t expose them to the man.

To say I was shocked was to say the least. My siblings then advised that if I must go to see the pastor, I should follow my instincts. For them, my reluctance may stem from God warning me to be extra vigilant. They further warned that the man might try to rape me or do something sinister. So, why did they not warn me earlier? They revealed that they didn’t want me to think too much or stretch my imagination. However, they said my experience which I shared with them showed that the man was bad news.

When our mom came back from her trip, we shared our experiences and she shouted, that the man wanted to destroy her home and cut off the man from our lives and our home. So parents, be careful who you bring to your home, all in the name of religion.

I had another close shave while in university. The church I attended held a program and invited a top man of God from Port Harcourt as guest speaker. This man of God had published many books and was well respected. I came to service that day late, and the moment I stepped into the church, the man of God noticed me.

As he preached, the guest speaker stared at me uncontrollably. So, I asked myself, “does he have a personal message from God for me?”. After the preaching, he called out single ladies for prayers for marriage.

Of course, I refused to go out for the prayers because I was just 22 years old. I had no interest in marriage. But since I didn’t look my age someone would be wondering what was wrong with me. A woman who sat next to me, ordered me to join other ladies who had already stepped out and I promptly obeyed.

After the prayers, the man of God asked us to come the next day for counselling. I never knew it was a trap laid to get to me. The moment the man saw me the next day, he exclaimed: “You’re so beautiful, and so tall. Perfect height”. A female pastor who was with him sensed that the remark was out of place and shouted “Daddy!” His reply? “Let’s appreciate God’s wonderful creation”. I was uncomfortable, because I’m one, who doesn’t like such attention from the opposite sex, worst from a supposed man of God.

The next church service, he sent his P.A to come get my number and I obliged. Church closed by 8pm and the pastor called by 9pm, inviting me to come to his hotel and see him, that he wanted to discuss something with me. At 9pm? I declined respectfully and told him my parents do not entertain late night outings and he said okay.

Sunday, after church service, he called by 3pm, inviting me over to and I gave another excuse. He ended the call and left for his base and never called me.

There was another church I was committed to and fully devoted to its activities. I gave my all in service to God. Before I got committed, the general overseer tried to get close to me. He tried several times to hug me, not as pastors hug their members. He even offered to buy me a new phone. And I declined.

Initially, I refused reading meanings to the nuances of the overseer. I kept attending services with an open mind. I simply loved the church and became devoted and joined a department. That was when the problem started. I started hearing rumours about our G.O. But I overlooked it. I paid my tithe, gave offerings and sowed seeds. When I say I sowed seeds, I mean a huge amount of money.

Then, drama broke out in the church. Stories started flying that the overseer was sleeping with a choir member, who started showing disrespect to Mummy G.O publicly. I just couldn’t take it. I left the church.

A year after leaving the church, I met Helen and we became friends. She was living large; too large for someone with no means of income and when we got close, she opened up to me, and told me a man was bankrolling her. She confided in me, that it was a man of God, a popular man of God in town. When I asked who, she promised to disclose the name if only I would keep it to myself. She then told me the name of the pastor and people of God, it’s no other person, but the same pastor who was said to be having an affair with a member of the choir.

I shouted, “Helen! He is the same man of God I told you that I left his church because of his cheating Scandal”. I exclaimed: “So Helen, all my tithe and seed money, na you dey chop am? No be God dey chop am?”. She told me that each time the pastor had a programme in other states like Abuja, Lagos, etc, he travelled with her. He slept with her before going for preaching and after each church service.

Helen told me her fears though. She said the miracles which the pastor performed while ministering may be diabolical. Worse more, she confessed having several abortions for the man. I was sick to my stomach.

The most embarrassing incident, was when my friend’s boyfriend, got information, that she was dating an older man who turned out to be a pastor. The boyfriend was told the time the pastor visited her place and he stormed the place unannounced. A big fight ensued. The pastor fought the young man with every strength that he had. It was a very chaotic scene which attracted neighbours. It was very embarrassing and scandalous.

As I pen down my experiences, a memory likewise flashed through my mind. I remember vividly, when I was in secondary school and my mom had a business deal with our resident pastor. Only for my mom to get duped by the pastor. We lost almost everything and my mom being a very benevolent person and filled with respect for the body of christ, refused to drag the case to court. She handed the case to the court of all courts (God).

These encounters had a psychological effect on me, and made me backslide from the Christian faith at some point. I stopped going to church for years. Later, when I resumed attending, I opted to be just a floor member, never wanting to be close to any man of God or join a department. But I soon got hold of me and told myself that Christ did not fail me, it was men that failed me.

I decided to know God for me, and understand the scripture for me. I built a closer relationship with God. I told myself: “Stop expecting more from humans, irrespective of their religious position”. I asked God to direct me to the right church and He did. Today, I’m serving in a unit in my church. I don’t care about the religious politics playing out in church. I’m more focused on Christ and the responsibility he has given to me here on earth.

No religious drama can shake my faith anymore, because my faith is not dependent on any religious leader or in the church. I’m the church and Christ lives in me. This realisation has made my journey in Christ smoother and better.

A lot of us have given up on the church, stopped calling on God, because of the way we were treated in a church, after giving our all. It’s okay to feel hurt. You’re human. Remember, humans failed you, not God. Find your way back to your place of worship.